I recently got invited to respond to a post by Linked-in from the Independent about "Milestone Anxiety" (https://www.linkedin.com/posts/linkedin-news-uk_do-you-feel-milestone-anxiety-how-to-ignore-activity-6975856355798581248-M7sB); it talks about pressure around achieving lifes big goals. Society has certain expectations of us that we are brainwashed with as we grow up. What used to be considered keeping up with the neighbours now spreads far and wide due to social media. We used to get this pressure from parents and our own comparisons with the people around us but research is suggesting this is affecting young people greater than ever before. With the huge rise in social media's influence and the prolific use of smartphones the pressure is greater than ever on our lives to acheive these milestones that we perceive we need to achieve. More and more people are getting to point of breakdown or suffering from diagnosable mental health issues younger and younger as we strive to meet a perceived measure of success.

I feel a big factor in this issue is that we are trained like dogs as children and teens to follow a set pattern expected by society - get a good education, get a good job, work hard, get promoted, get married, have at least two children, get a big house, a fancy car, consume consume consume. We're never taught the true value in life of fulfilment. Many people are chasing happiness around the room like a ghost or finding value in things rather than themselves. The real key to change is working on self worth and self love and finding your passion. Sadly I work with so many people who have not realised this issue is having such an impact on them until they have reached a point of breakdown. I'm blessed to be able to help people recover and find true fulfilment, but its a sad state that education is biased towards a perceived measure of success that doesn't provide fulfilment.

So what steps can we take to help ourselves?

  1. Find your passion! - With such busy modern lives we can often become disconnected with the things we're naturally drawn to that make us feel fulfilled. Our childhoods are a great clue to what we enjoy doing most. Creativity is an incredible way to express ourselves, get a message out there, and find passion. Creativity comes in many forms, not just art. It could be anything you share with the world - your voice, your words, your passion. Think back to what you loved doing as a child, or just go out and explore and experience new things - sports, hobbies, art. If it doesn’t resonate try something else.
  2. Set some goals - We all know we need them, and self help books are full of tools and techniques for finding them and goal setting, but they often can over complicate the process. It's great to have a goal/s but if you're not working towards them they only serve to frustrate more. It’s great to have an ambitious goal but if it’s too ambitious it can seem impossible to achieve. The answer is to break down that big goal into smaller achievable goals, or milestones. Keep breaking them down until you have some immediate achievable goals. Keep your ey on the long term but focus on the short term goals. The long term goals may change, and thats ok. It doesn’t matter how quickly you're moving forward as long as you're moving.
  3. Only measure against yourself and your own progress - Modern life is full of comparisons but we're all on our own journey of experience in this life and wherever we are on that journey is just fine. As long as you're moving forward that’s OK.
  4. Fail fast and learn quick - if something is not right or is not working in your life, or your goals no longer align, don't be afraid to make a change. As we learn and evolve goals will change, and we will make mistakes, and fail from time to time. And thats OK! Failure is learning, don't be hard on yourself. Take you're lessons and move forward armed with more information to get it right next time.
  5. Be grateful - gratitude is an emotional experience that creates a positive response in our bodies, by reflecting on the good things in our life we are thankful for. Positive thoughts and feelings create more positive thoughts and feelings like a snowball effect of positivity. Do it before bed and we leave our subconscious with that positive feeling as our consious mind sleeps. A gratitude routine will have a cumulative positive impact on you mental health by focussing on what you have rather than what you don't have.
  6. Find others to support you on your journey - we're all social animals and when we share goals and aspirations with others we're greater than the sum of our parts. Sharing our goals and getting support from friends and family creates accountability to push and drive ourselves to greater and greater achievements. Connect with people you know who will support you positively and encourage your goals rather than bring them down.
  7. Learn about, and understand yourself. Know your strengths and weaknesses and use these to propel yourself forward. Don't worry about your weaknesses too much, make sure you work on them enough they don't hold you back but focus on your strengths and surround yourself with people who will excel at the things you struggle with. Personality tests and astrological charts all help build a picture of yourself you can use to your advantage.
  8. Day dream! This is our creative time. When we use our imagination and allow our minds to go wherever we allow them we generate ideas, we solve problems, we enhance and elaborate dreams and goals. In modern life we've tuned out of this imagination time by reaching for our phones. Give yourself some time out to allow your mind to wander. Go for a walk, go to the gym, do something creative and leave the phone at home. Allow your mind to create your own reality!

What about our children? We can repeat the patterns of expectation set by our parents, and their parents, or we can break the chain. Teach our children the true value of life and show them how to find fulfillment rather that chase value in material things and status.

How does Analytical Hypnotherapy help with Milestone Anxiety? Everything that holds you back from achieving or setting your goals is a result of subconsious blocks held in your subconsious mind as protective programmes that no longer serve us. These subconsious blocks are a combination of reactions to emotional distress and trauma, and persistent programming from parents, schools and the media. Using Hypnosis we can work with the subconsious to release these negative programmes to allow you to achieve anything you desire in your life free from negative beliefs. Find out more detail here -https://developlink.com/what-is-analytical-hypnotherapy/

Chris (DIP: HYP / NAHAH / RPHAH).